Sunday 9 October 2016

Chemo Round 2

Friday was chemo day #2, we got there on time despite lovely friend and I enjoying our morning coffee for probably a bit too long. We know where we would rather be. Chemo suite were running on time as well, which meant I didn't wait that long. I was in a side room with the nurse this time and was given Emend which is the 'gold standard' of anti emetics. Hurray. I think it is probably quite expensive so they only give it to the people that need it, but I don't know. I just know I knew I would need it first time around but I had to wait till they knew too. The treatment itself was more painful this time. Chemo drugs are very toxic and burn your veins, which is why they run a saline drip to dilute them at the same time. First time around the veins are all healthy, this time around they've been damaged and the pain was in my hand and through my wrist. It wasn't around the site of the cannula so it meant we could keep going with a bit more flushing. I was fine straight afterwards and we came home and had some lunch and cups of tea. Realised I have given lovely friend salmon all 3 times she's had lunch here now... oops. 

Day after was ok but I didn't do much, I did get a lovely postcard which made me laugh from two other lovely friends who'd gone to Brighton on a work trip. Nobody every sends postcards these days and it was so lovely. Today I woke up a lot as is becoming the new normal. Managed to do the eating whilst feeling sick to take the 8am and 2pm anti nausea drug and think the Emend at 7am helped with that. Went back to sleep as was overwhelmed with tiredness, woke at 10.30am thinking bed was very snuggling so I'd have a bit more of a snuggle and get up, fast forward to 12.30pm... Think that is probably the anxiety and insomnia of the week before chemo catching up with me. 

Lovely husband has done the essential cleaning tasks, I know a clean house is not exactly a priority at the moment but I don't want to get poorly and I do want to languish in something that isn't a tip. He's now preoccupied with the attempted break in to our double garage. We can't fit cars in there due to the design but they store a lot including the precious motorbike. It looks like someone did a recce, they broke the door a bit but not the lock. Husband's Friend is coming over to secure bike better but I think they'll just come back for other things like the push bikes.  I'm voting for an alarm with a sensor and a big yellow disc outside to say we've seen you. We can also block the entrance with a car so they can't pull a van up. I am really surprised nobody was seen, along with me being around, there are two other inhabitants in our courtyard of 5 houses who work from home. It's been reported but we have no advice. I think mine is falling on deaf ears so I shall continue to faff on the internet and might languish on the sofa a bit more next week so I can keep an eye out. 

Update: forgot to add earlier that nurse (who sits and injects chemo drugs) told me I had to think positive and said that if I give to the universe it will give back. I responded as kindly as I would to anyone saying such things but I it came out very glibly and I hope she will think twice before saying it to anyone else. I don't walk about miserably, I don't think negatively, but I am realistic. 30% of the 1 in 8 who get breast cancer get secondary cancers and they are not curable. I hope that isn't me but I can never know. If anything depends on me giving to the universe I don't know why I have cancer in the first place, I do my giving and if I didn't do enough, does that mean cancer is my fault. 

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