Thursday 29 September 2016

The Other Things That Happen


I waited for the menopausal side effects of Tamoxifen but they never happened, unless you count early waking, but hard to know if that was just the brain working overtime. Now we await the menopausal side effects of chemo, they are immediate. If you are pre menopausal it can all reverse after treatment and people can have babies etc. It also means you can have a chemically induced menopause and then have it all again naturally... Hoping if I go straight back on Tamoxifen after chemo I'd avoid the double whammy. In the meantime the place I see the impact most is in my face, just because we have to look at that every day in the mirror. I very suddenly have some fine lines that weren't there before, the oestrogen feeding my cancer has been zapped, and so has my face. 


In other news, my hair is starting to fall out. It started a couple of days ago. My hair has always moulted in large quantities, my car can be carpeted with it if it goes too long without cleaning. Sat here typing this, there is even more than normal, it is not falling into my lap. I'm practicing with the wig anyway so shall bung that on today. People are doing a double take on the doorstep because I had a pre chemo short hair cut and wig is long. 
It also looks like me when I've just left the hairdressers which is not what I look like on a daily basis.Anyone who met me for the first time today might think I was groomed with hair done and painted nails because that stops the UV light and lessens the chances of them falling off. Well except that nails are chipped. I worked the wig yesterday and it felt fine, although it did kind of slip off towards the end of the day which is going to worry me about security in the windy rainy winter. 

Tuesday 27 September 2016

Thank You


Today is almost normal day; I did need one antiemetic this morning, but have eaten breakfast and lunch. I do feel like I need a strong coffee to kick start myself, even after the strong coffee I had to kick start myself, but that is the fatigue I was warned about. I took myself off the GP (regular non cancer type appointment) and whilst I was there, I got them to check my problematic surgery incision at the same time because it is sore. No issues there.


This blog is mainly written to keep people, who are interested, up to date with the whole BC malarkey so I just wanted to say thank you to those people. I had lots of cards when I was first diagnosed but what is lovely is that they keep coming. The postman arrived with an envelope as I was leaving for the GPs and I read the card whilst I was waiting. There have been gifts, cards, letters, emails, texts, FB messages etc. all the way along. Turns out it makes a huge difference that they arrive randomly and not just when I first found out. I do also have to say sorry for not always responding, but I expect people understand that, so I wanted to say here how much I appreciate it all.

Monday 26 September 2016

Progress

Today was the first day of feeling normal and I was off to buy my second wig which is the same as the first one but slightly different colour, it would be as if I'd had different highlights, subtle but I prefer it. OH liked the first one, as did wig lady, and my pleas to try this one fell on deaf ears. NHS lady ordered this one in for me, so it cost a lot less, and is happy to order me a shorter one for when I go back to work. I tried on the shorter wig I'd found but but it didn't look like it did in the photo at all, so still thinking about that one, there's no hurry. 


I had genetics today, which was interesting, I knew it would be. I saw a lovely professor, all the professors are lovely so far, and had an interesting chat. They are testing me for BRCA1 and BRCA2. There are other genes but they don't know enough about them yet so no testing for them. BRCA1 is unlikely because of the kind of cancers I have, BRCA2 is a possibility, as is testing negative. Should the test prove positive, the risk is mainly more breast cancer in the other breast and ovarian cancer, so knowing the result before my next surgery informs a decision about preventative surgery. I had the blood test today, by a phlebotomist who wanted to be at the end of their shift, ouch. Results will be in about 3 months and surgery is probably Jan/Feb 2017, so all in good time. 

Having felt better on Friday, and thinking I had turned a corner, it was a surprise to feel vile on Saturday and disappointing. Sunday was much more normal  and today is a good day. I'm being careful not to over do anything but it was such a relief to be able to drive myself to the hospital because I didn't feel too weak and feeble. FREEDOM. I did have a dizzy spell in genetics, which was a v long and overheated walk through hospital buildings from the wig fitting, but taking a layer off and drinking some water resolved that. 
In other news, I've also managed to buy some hair clippers that didn't cost £70 so I can crop my hair when it starts falling out and growing back... Not interesting but necessary! 

Wednesday 21 September 2016

The Taste and Smell

Chemo has a smell and a taste. They said it would be metallic or chalky, it isn't like that for me, it's just some nasty toxic drug taste. The smell is everywhere, it's in my bedclothes, my house, and on my skin. Nothing smells like home or me any more, it all smells like the drugs and it makes me retch. I think I might gag just being on the chemo suite next time. 
I've had to call into the helpline about the nausea. They worry it is all kinds of other things but I'm pretty sure it is just nausea, I don't have a temperature or infection, and I should be grateful about that. I'm not. I couldn't stand up today till 2.30pm, because I felt sick every time I moved. I can take more of one of the drugs I've already got to see if that helps, rather than going into hospital, so let's hope they do. I'm not going to lie, it's not easy to think of another 5 rounds of this.

Monday 19 September 2016

All Aboard


Just a quick update on how the chemo is going. Apparently those who experience motion sickness can expect the worst nausea during chemo and I do. The weekend wasn’t too bad, but today am in bed with ginger tea because every time I stand up I feel seasick. It doesn’t help that I have to eat something before I take the antiemetic, that’s a conundrum when I can’t even face marmite on toast. 
Hopefully I will feel better later and manage another walk, walking stops one from just feeling weak & feeble I find. The hospital said I could ring in and get different drugs but will wait until tomorrow I think. They said I could call them and they’d tell me what to ask my doctor for, but getting a prescription from my GP is quite challenging, maybe it is different in such circumstances. Am currently in bed distracting myself with the internet propped on pillows not moving much.