The Taste and Smell

Chemo has a smell and a taste. They said it would be metallic or chalky, it isn't like that for me, it's just some nasty toxic drug taste. The smell is everywhere, it's in my bedclothes, my house, and on my skin. Nothing smells like home or me any more, it all smells like the drugs and it makes me retch. I think I might gag just being on the chemo suite next time. 

I've had to call into the helpline about the nausea. They worry it is all kinds of other things but I'm pretty sure it is just nausea, I don't have a temperature or infection, and I should be grateful about that. I'm not. I couldn't stand up today till 2.30pm, because I felt sick every time I moved. I can take more of one of the drugs I've already got to see if that helps, rather than going into hospital, so let's hope they do. I'm not going to lie, it's not easy to think of another 5 rounds of this.