The day of the op I just slept, the day after I woke up and then slept. This has become a bit of a pattern, I suspect the 80 year old lady on my ward is zippier than me at the moment. I seem to be sensitive to anaesthesia and I am sore, being in pain is tiring, although it isn't major surgery so a bit surprised by that. It could be all those weeks of waiting for results and not really sleeping have caught up with me.
I'm not happy about it. I should be able to drift guilt free into a nap but I'm not. I feel fragile because I am so tired and it is making me feel like I am not managing this very well, that upsets me. It worries me about the treatment I am going to go through next, that will be gruelling, and months of just being very tired is a depressing thought. I suppose I also factor in my vulnerability to depression, it hasn't reared it's head yet, but the only other time I just want sleep is when I am. Associations are strong aren't they.
No comments:
Post a Comment